How to Forgive &

Why Forgiveness is Important

Many people have a truly difficult time moving past the pain that they feel as a result of someone who they feel has wronged them. A person who has not mastered how to forgive is someone who is metaphorically speaking, “chopping off their foot to spite their toe”.

Mastering forgiveness is probably one of the most powerful tools that we have to not only bring healing to both ourselves and another person…but forgiveness can literally be the key that unlocks the door of what has held you back from achieving your goals.

I will start off my giving you an illustration.

For those of you who don’t know…I love Tyler Perry.

A lot of people may have things to say about how he represents himself or the imagery in his plays and movies – but bottom line – he always makes sure to bring home the power of God/Love in all that he does.

As far as I am concerned, representing God is the most powerful representation anyone can have.

But I digress…

Back in 2010 he was on Oprah and he was discussing the extreme abuse that he suffered as a child. He was both sexually abused by 4 different adults – before the age of 10 and physically abused by his father to the point that he blacked out for 3 days.

He went into depth about years and years of abuse that brought him to the point where he actually tried to commit suicide to escape a life that he felt had no hope, no light, and no love.

Like so many others, struggling with how to forgive, he did pull through his years and years of abuse and grew into adulthood suffering the affects of the emotional scars that he had experienced in childhood. One day he turned the TV channel and started watching an Oprah episode where she was discussing how healing writing can be for the spirit – and she was encouraging her viewers to start keeping a journal.

He followed suit and started writing, and writing until one day he received the inspiration that what he was writing had the makings of a play. So he went about the task of trying to produce his own plays. For years and years he tried to do shows and get audiences to come out but he was unsuccessful. He would have invested all of the money from his low paying job into the show and watched it flop over and over again.

He couldn’t for the life of him figure out what was wrong and why things weren’t working for him…and he eventually found himself homeless.

One day he placed a call to his father and decided to let him know about all of the pain that he caused him.

He let him have it…

he yelled…

cried…

and released all of the things that he was holding inside about the years of emotional and physical abuse that he had suffered at the hands of his father.

As was expected, his father denied any wrong doing and did not acknowledge any of the pain he had caused…but something happened.

In letting his father know about all of the pain he felt, all of the anger he built up inside, all of the hopelessness he experienced, and all that he had suffered at his hands – Tyler was able to release what had happened to him. In doing that – he felt what seemed like a physical weight lifted from his shoulders.

Shortly thereafter it was time for his next play production and he sat in his room praying and pondering why things were not working and why he was not being blessed with the success that he longed for. Just at that moment, his spirit directed him to look out his window and for the first time – he saw a bunch of people in front of the theater with the line wrapped around the block.

He went on to say that ever since that day – he has continued to have sold out shows and he credits this to the release that he experienced in letting his pain go and deciding to forgive his father.

The Reason Why forgiveness is Important

Forgiveness is a healer. Forgiveness can help you in life in several ways – by allowing you to let go of the mental and emotional weight that being a victim entails and making a consious decision to take your life back.

When you dwell in unforgiveness you are giving someone else control of you and your emotions. This is not to say that what this person has not caused you hurt, suffering and pain. However, when you dwell in unforgiveness you are giving that person the power to victimize you over and over again.

Our brain and our emotions are like a magnet that attracts like energy, thoughts and emotions. When we refuse to forgive someone we are placing a wall up in our lives – not just toward that person we are angry with, but to any other person or situation that reminds us of anything remotely similar to the person or situation. This wall blocks the flow of blessings and goodness that is trying to come into our lives, because there is no point of entry. We can think about it this way – a hand has to be open in order to receive. Similarly our hearts and minds must be open in order to receive the goodness that surrounds us.

Mastering How to forgive

When you forgive someone you are doing it for yourself and not for the other person. It does not matter if this person does not believe that they have harmed you or if they are sorry for what they have done.

The true reason why forgiveness is important is that forgiveness is for yourself.

My suggestion is that if you can, contact the individual and follow Tyler Perry’s lead – pour out to this person how they hurt you.

If you need to yell – do that.

If you need to curse – do that.

If you need to cry – do that.

LET IT GO.

If it is not possible to directly communicate with that person – get a friend who is willing to play the role of that person and release your pain to them. You can also grab a piece of paper and write down all of your pain.

The key to this is to not hold back…be true to your feelings and don’t stop until you feel the release.

Life is Short.  DREAM BIG!

They don’t have a job

The car is broke down

They don’t have extra money to go out

They are barely paying the bills

While all of these may be real conditions, we have to remember that all of these things are temporary. We have to learn to live in gratitude and tend well to little in order to be blessed with more.

Instead of saying that you don’t have a job, praise God for the opportunities that are all around you and that your perfect position is presenting itself to you right now.

Instead of complaining that the car is broke down, say hallelujah you have two legs and feet that allow you to walk to work or walk to the bus stop.

Instead of complaining about not having extra money to go out, be thankful that you have the money to be inside.

And instead of complaining about not having enough to pay the bills, be in gratitude and know that all of your needs will be met…all the time.

There is a blessing and an anointing that comes when you dwell in gratitude. Be grateful at all times and in all things and watch your harvest grow and grow.

Life is Short. Dream BIG!

Jennifer

Life is Short.  DREAM BIG!

About a month ago I broke down and got cable tv….I say broke down because I generally believe that 90% of the things on tv are a total waste of electricity, brain cells, and precious seconds of life that I can never get back. I try to engage myself with practical matters that focus on achieving the ambitious goals that I have set for myself…

and they generally don’t involve turning on the TV to watch some random, “housewife” sing about the importance of not being ‘Tardy to the Party’.

But I digress.

Last night I turned on the TV and was pleasantly surprised to find a movie that really touched my heart and spirit and challenged me to contemplate life on so many levels.  The movie is called Mama Flora’s Family.  It is based on a book written by Alex Haley and I’m not sure if it is based on a true story or not but it really hit home and had me contemplating the realness of life.

In the story Mama Flora’s son, Willie is forced to flee the south at the hands of a mob of racists who were out to get him.  He ends up fleeing to Chicago, where he gets swooped up into a life of drug dealing and gambling.  After a violent run in with the law he finally decides to get his act together, and ends up enrolling in the army where he goes on to become a decorated soldier.

Upon his return, he marries his childhood sweetheart and quickly has twins and then another son shortly to follow.  He quickly finds out upon his return that his life has not improved because he is now a decorated soldier and after searching high and low the only job that he could find was that of a janitor – and he has no problem working two jobs to take care of his family.

In one scene in particular Willie’s daughter has grown up and has a child of her own.  She is reminiscing with her grandmother – Mama Flora about her son’s father and she admits that she was looking for a man that she could admire and look up to and that is how she got swept up by a man because she thought he was a man that she could admire.

She told her grandmother that she just realized that the man that she was looking for – that man she could look up to – she had known all along….it was her father.

Her father had worked hard and long for his family to make sure that they could have a better life.

She came to realize that respect and admiration is not based on social stature or title….but true respect belongs to those who are willing to sacrifice and do whatever it takes to make life better for the ones that they love.

So the question is -Are you one of those chosen ones?

<span>Are you 100% focused on doing things and living your life in a way that is about making life better -not just for your family, but for society as a whole </span>?

Let your legacy in life be more than having the biggest house or the most expensive car.  Make your legacy be about making the lives of others all the better for having come into contact with you.

Life is Short.  DREAM BIG!

Life is Short.  DREAM BIG!

Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.

Many people take the first step and then stop. Yet, with every additional step you take, you enhance immensely the value of your first step.

All masters of success are chiefly distinguished by their power of adding a second, a third, and perhaps a forth step in a continuous line.

There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession is the rule of life. That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures.

Do not despise the challenges that you experience as you climb to greatness in whatever you are undertaking!

Life is Short. Dream BIG!

To Margarita Sippin,

Jenn

Life is Short.  DREAM BIG!

While your character is formed by circumstances, your own desires can do much to shape those circumstances. Thus, you have the power over the formation of your own character.

Nature is always at work around you. Your character and destiny are her handiwork. She gives you love and hate, jealousy and reverence. You have the power to choose which impulse you will follow.

You can at any time decide to alter the course of your life. No one can EVER take that away from you. The greatest power you possess is the power to choose.

You’re the master of your joys and your sorrows.

Life is Short.  DREAM BIG!

You won’t accomplish anything if you wait for all the possible objections to be overcome. Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.

Don’t be afraid to live.
Don’t wait for things to change.
Don’t wait until you have more time, until you are less tired,
until you get the promotion, until you settle down, until, until, until.

Don’t wait for a major event in your life to occur before
you begin to live.

Begin where you are. Work where you are. The hour you are wasting now, dreaming of some far off success,
is crowded with tremendous possibilities.

When you take the first step, your mind will mobilize all its forces to assist you. Once you have started, all that is within and around you will come to your assistance.

The only way to start down the road to success is to start.

Life is Short. Dream BIG!

To Margarita Sippin,
Jenn

Life is Short.  DREAM BIG!

If you let others make decisions for you, you give up control. When you control the decisions, you control the actions.

It’s your life. You decide what you are going to do with it.

If you don’t run your own life someone else will. You are in control of your life to the degree you make decisions.

Take charge of your life so that there is no longer a need to ask permission of others. When you ask permission, you are giving someone else veto power over your life.

Take control and start making those decisions. Only you are responsible for your life.

A successful person makes decisions.

Life is Short.  DREAM BIG!

You’ve got it in you to succeed. Your success is not dependent on whatever you experienced yesterday or even what you are experiencing at this moment. Make a decision of what you want your life to be, move in that direction, and stick with it. Just make up your mind and stick with it.

You weren’t born with any limits on your powers or any limits to what you can achieve.

At any moment, you have more possibilities than you can act upon. When you start to Imagine your possibilities, your vision expands.

If you think you can, you can.
If you think you can’t, you can’t.

It’s your choice!

Life is Short.  DREAM BIG!

Most people leave undone those things that should be done, while they do things that they shouldn’t be doing.

Set priorities for your goals. A major part of successful living lies in your ability to put first things first.

Most major goals are not achieved because people put second things first.

Is what your doing getting you closer to your objectives?
Anything that is wasted effort represents wasted time.

Manage your time, Don’t let time manage you.

Life is Short.  DREAM BIG!